First sex isn’t always the most shocking part of a romance novel. In real life, a new date, even one that you like, can be awkward, uncomfortable, or otherwise… not good. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be better.
I’m not talking about sex that’s bad because they don’t respect your boundaries or make you feel unsafe, of course. (There is no second chance in this situation.) Maybe the sexual sparks are not there, in which case you can trust your instincts and do not need us to tell you what to do. But it is possible that you only have to solve some problems. To help you find out if your unsatisfying experience is just a stumbling block on the way to a more satisfying relationship, we asked a certified sex therapist for his top tips on what to do if a sexual relationship with a new person left a lot.
Try to get out of your head.
When you’re excited to be naked with someone for the first time, it’s natural to think about what it’s going to be like. The problem is that setting your expectations high can also set you up for disappointment. If your first encounter is, uh, disappointing, the expert suggests asking yourself: Was it me in that moment, or did I focus on the experience I built up in my mind?
If you compare this sexual experience to what you think or other people you and those with whom you used to have sex, you miss what is really happening now. Of course, maybe what is happening in front of you is not hot, but if you love your new person and are ready to try again, being with him can help you decide if it is.
Best tips for staying in touch during sex: Focus on your thoughts by paying attention to what you hear, smell, taste, and feel. This way of knowing sex can increase your pleasure by making it a wonderful sensory experience where you and others are crushing you and your partner. Basically, you get out of your head and out of your body.
Be clear about what you both want in bed.
Bad sex is often just a talking point, says an expert. Talking sounds easy, but we are often afraid of hurting our partner’s feelings and hesitate to be open about our interests and passions. However, avoiding conversation during an awkward connection makes everyone feel bad and reduces your chances of having a good time. Conversations with your partner can be verbal or non-verbal and you won’t be quick to understand what you’re saying. Instead of telling them what you don’t like (“It hurt me when you cut my ears”), try sharing what you did or what you liked (“It’s hot when you kiss me here”). Sharing what you enjoy can be fun in itself. You can also try to gently move his hand or body to where you want him to be and show him how you want to be touched or let him know what you are feeling. Like the sexy sound or say directly, “That’s good. . .”
It is also important to remember that communication is a two-way street; when expressing your wishes, be sure to ask about theirs as well. “What can make you have sex with another person may not work in this case, and a little weakness can make you know yourself and have a deeper relationship with your partner. Curious how things will go -being positive is the best way to turn bad sex into good sex.
Remember that sex should be fun!
Putting too much pressure on the situation is one of the fastest ways to kill the situation. We wonder if our partner is satisfied, or if the way we look makes us want to, or if we expect to do something, which can take all the fun out of it. in the experience, said one expert. Of course, it can be embarrassing if the sex is bad for the first time, but keep in mind that your partner (or you) may be afraid, or maybe eyes, they worry about what you think.
Instead of taking your own “bad” sex too seriously, the expert suggests starting a playful behavior to relieve some of the stress and revive the mood. Maybe you feel like sending a funny text message that reveals your motivation before your date, or giving a pep talk, or treating them to dinner. . Creating a pleasant atmosphere while wearing the perfect dress can help you learn more about each other, knowing that you can put it in the bedroom. Try to behave like that when you have sex. It can be the foundation for rich and beautiful experiences.